Happy Sprinkle No. 7: “…but as we”

Have you ever picked up a book, and after the first paragraph said to yourself “….what the hell did I just read?….I didn’t understand a word of this shit, this is CRAP.”

I have.

In fact, I said this to myself multiple times upon trying to start reading The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test by Tom Wolfe.

Upon what must be the 10th time of picking up the book, I have finally made it past page five! Progress.

While I am not sure if I am fully comprehending what I am reading, I feel like I am on the cusp of a breakthrough, as I have subsequently fallen in love with some of the passages.

For example:

The citizens couldn’t know about the LSD experience , because that door had never opened for them. To be on the threshold of- Christ! how to tell them about the life here? The Youth had always had only three options: go to school, get a job or live at home. And- how boring each was! – compared to the experience of…the inifinite…and a life in which the subject is not scholastic or bureaucratic but…Me and Us, the attuned ones amid the non-musical shiny-black-shoe multitudes, I- with my eyes on that almost invisible hole up there in the r-r-r-redwood sky… (Wolfe 65)

How eloquent is that?

I find this passage to be rooted in truth, and one that is both sad and mesmerizing.

Lets start with the mesmerizing.

It is mesmerizing because I am about as far removed from the drug scene as one can get, yet, because of this, I am drawn to it, and this passage allows me to partake in it, to experience a realm that I wouldn’t otherwise want or be able to experience.

Despite it being a mesmerizing vehicle of transportation, the passage is one of sad reality.

Isn’t it?

I mean, it so true.

Isn’t it true, that most days, we walk around like zombies, doing and saying what we have been told to, what we have been conditioned to believe is “right”, while never really living our truths?

And we come to believe these conditioned truths.

We forget that at the end of the day, we are all so beautifully different from each other, yet we are all so wonderfully similar.

We are all so beautifully different from each other, yet we are all so wonderfully similar.

I like plaid. My favorite color is red. Nothing gives me more pleasure than walking the beach, the sand filling the spaces between my toes, the soft sea air that sends my hair swirling around my face to kiss my cheeks.

You like solid print. Your favorite color is beige. You enjoy the sturdy confines of your home, a cocoon of safety, warmth and familiarity (I enjoy this, too).

But you are human. I am human.

We want the same things .

We want love.

We want respect.

We want a place.

We want open and honest conversation.

We want acceptance.

We want life.

We want to live

So lets start doing that.

Lets start to live our best life.

Lets start to live our best life by understanding that being human, being human, being human….

That being human…

Being human is enough.

“Happy” Sprinkle No. 6: Why?

This is more of a thought than a happy sprinkle. It is not unhappy, it is just a thought, a question.

At what point do you decide to give somone a second chance? At what point do you decide to just let things go and leave them be?

In one of my first posts, I mentioned that someone reached out to me almost two months after he left the company, and almost three years after he had the chance to get to know me in person.

Given the circumstances, I chose to believe that the situation was Gods’ way of showing me what was not meant to be.

But what if I was wrong? What if it was the other way around?
What if it was to show me that anything can happen? That people change based on their experiences and situation, and that sometimes, it is alright to give someone a second opportunity?

My better judgement tells me that this is not the case, that I am holding on to something that I want to be my reality when it is simply not meant to be my reality.

But how am I to know for sure if it is not supposed to be my reality if I don’t do anything about it?

Maybe, at this point, the better question is why would I do something about it when I have something good going on with someone else?

Can or should I approach the situation as if we are talking like “two girls over drinks at Bennigans?” (thanks, Mila Kunis, for the line.)

Or is it a lost cause when at the end of the day, I know I am potentially interested in you as more than a friend, and this despite you showing me time and time again that you are really not interested in me?

At this point, this should not even be a question let alone something I am thinking about, especially because I am already seeing someone.

Do I jeopardize what I share with him over the slightest of slight possibility that something will work out between us?

Or do I “jeopardize” what I currently have in search of something different and potentially more fulfilling?

Not that it would even be more fulfilling than what I share with the guy I am currently seeing. This guy, he makes me feel like…me.

He makes me feel like me!

That is not something that I have ever experienced before, not even with family and friends.

To feel this way around somone, it is a pretty cool thing; it is pretty damn cool to just be and feel like yourself.

What a gift. What a treasure, to be able to experience this with someone.

So why the hell do I feel like something is missing?

Why can I not just be happy and totally satisfied with what I have?

Why do I feel this need to chace after someone and something that is more than likely, just not meant for me?

Why?

Happy Sprinkle No. 5: Because Red Sox, Yo!

Today, I am happy to be a New Englander! Because RED SOX, yo!

If you have not yet heard, the Red Sox made it to the World Series! Needless to say, I could not be more excited…actually, I probably could be more excited if I called myself a true Red Sox fan.

Besides the fact that I am not originally from New England (Go Tigers!), I don’t really follow sports too much. Sure, I’ll catch the tidbits that are discussed on the morning news, but I don’t spend time stressing over stats or discussing the latest trade.

That being said, I have nothing against sports. I was an athlete up until college, and, in fact, I quite enjoy going to a Red Sox game or other sporting event.

There is definitely something to be said about the electric energy that pulses through a stadium, and of course, at competitions, the music sounds a little better, and the food tastes a little grander…I just have no idea what is going on when it gets down to the actual sport lol.

Go team!

But it is pretty cool to be a part of Red Sox Nation right now. Even though I was not holding my breath to make the World Series, it is super cool to see how excited most of the rest of Boston is about it.

The World Series has been a main point of conversation on the news for the past few days. Of course, Fenway is being absolutely decked out to the max.

This morning, broadcasters were ooing and aawing over the World Series logo that has been painted on the Fenway field. They were also going on about how cool it is to follow the Sox on Instagram because the page is constantly being updated with World Series decorations and other such hubbub.

If there was ever a time that I wished I knew more about baseball or professional sports, this is one of those times. I would love to say “It’s great to be a Boston sports fan!”

Nevertheless, it is awesome to feel the electric energy that has taken Boston by storm and to feel a part of something that is greater than myself.

…Not to mention that my office is providing a free lunch today in honor of the World Series…so, yes, it is good to be a semi-Boston sports fan/ New Englander 🙂

Happy Sprinkle No. 4: So you’re tellin’ me I have a life?

Looking back at this past weekend, I am pretty happy with where my social/personal life is at right now, the main point being that I actually have a life.

I literally had something going on Friday-Sunday this weekend. Until about a year ago, my life was a blank slate. I hardly did anything, hardly knew anybody.

I am happy to say that that is no longer the case.

Friday after work, I spent the evening with someone who has become one of my closest friends since moving to New England. We checked out a local bar called Lamplighter where we downed a few brews and ate from their pop-up restaurant, The Bacon Truck. I mean how can beer, bacon and friends spell anything but happy?

It was a pretty fun night, despite not being totally impressed with the brewary. The beer itself was not bad. I even found an IPA that I cold stomach–now this is really saying something because I really, really don’t understand the IPA trend that seems to have taken the world by storm.

While the beer and food were quite delightful, I thought the atmosphere to be a little uptight. It seemed like a more modern, somewhat “techy” place compared to Aeronaut, a local brewery that I liken to the Friends coffee shop but for beer.

Nontheless, it was a fun night as trying out new places is usually at least a decent time.

Saturday, I spent the morning trying to hydrate myself, aka recover from the previous nights fesitivities, and then hit up this awesome vintage/retro bowling place called Breaktime Bowling.

It is set in this old warehouse so that you can see exposed brick, and everything from keeping score to setting up the pins is done manually.

Get this: there is actually a pin-boy that sits at the end of each lane on what looks like a saddle, and he is responsible for rolling back the bowling balls and setting up the pins after each completed frame of three rolls. How awesome is that?!

Anyway, it was a super cool experience, and I am glad that I got to share it with a guy that I have been seeing for a couple of months now.

As for yesterday, Sunday, I spent the majority of the day in Boston playing soccer with a group that I met through my colleague. We won the game, which is a somewhat rare occurence for us, and I even managed to squeak in a couple of sick moves, another rare occurence 🙂

I ended up missing my train back home, so I spent a couple of hours hanging and jamming out with a newer friend from soccer.

We spent about two hours just talking about music and whatever else. I am trying my best to educate him about the world of good music, aka Young the Giant, Paramore, and Fleetwood Mac….he does not seem to be learning too quickly, however. Good thing he has me to introduce him to the finer things in life, right? 🙂

All in all, it was a great weekend, and I am proud of myself for making more of an effort to make that my reality.

fried egg and candy forms smiley — Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

Happy Sprinkle No. 3: Red Pants and Checkered Vans

Today, I am happy for red pants and original checkerboard Vans shoes. Something about this combo screams retro and so…Autumnal. Which is why I have decided to flaunt both of these items on my trip to Lamplighter Brewing Co. after work. today.

Do I sound hipster yet? Probably not because a hipster would never admit to being hipster, and she would certainly never admit to trying to be a hipster, would she?

All I know is that red, and black and white checkerboard is also the combination that I want for my dream kitchen.

That’s right, my dream kitchen has a floor that is composed of big black and white tiles, and all of the kitchen appliances are red: a red coffee pot, a big red clock, a red stove, and a red fridge.

Oh and a red blender!

Trust me, my dream kitchen looks great in my head. And that makes me happy! 🙂

Happy Sprinkle No. 2: What is Meant to Be

It is amazing how life, or God, shows you exactly what is meant to be.

For almost three years, I had an infatuation with my coworker. It was undeniable. Unbreakable. He was the one thing that I couldn’t have, and he was the one thing that I wanted.

He was the first person that made me feel alive, like I had a place, in my new New England home. He was also the first guy that I was interested in after my boyfriend and I called it quits (finally) after almost five years.

Before I knew it, I had fallen for this dude against my better judgement. We were immediate co-workers after all. When he fazed me out, I did not take it lightly.

I felt like it was entirely my fault, like I had done something wrong or bad.

In reality, it just wasn’t meant to be, regardless of who said what or who did that.

Life showed me that the other week. It reminded me that everything works out exactly as it is supposed to.

My coworker is no longer my coworker. He left the company about two months ago. Since he quit, I would be lying if I said that I never wondered what he was up to and how he was liking his new job.

I would be kidding you if I told you that there wasn’t a part of me that hoped he would text me, feel out if I was interested in him in whatever capacity.

When he finally texted me the other week, I was surprised. I was surprised, and I was a mix of other emotions that I didn’t expect to feel.

I was surprised because at that point, I didn’t expect to hear from him. It had been almost two months since he left, so I figured he was long gone.

On top of that, why text me now? Why reach out to me a whole two months after you left the company when you had three years where you could have reached out to me in person? How irritating is that?

I also felt confused, frustrated, and scared.

Confused because I didn’t know your intention for texting me at this point.

Frustrated because of course you would reach out to me when I finally have something good going with someone else.

And scared, because I didn’t want you to ignore me… again.

Turns out that the last three points are perfect illustrations as to why we were never meant to be anything at all except to learn from each other.

Because you did ignore me again.

Because you wasted three years where you could have tried to get to know me in a meaningful way.

Because you are too late: I already have someone that is not only interested in me, but that shows me he is interested in me.

Life, or God, has a funny way of showing us exactly what is meant to be.

Happy Sprinkle No. 1: Young the Giant

Hey there! Happy Sprinkles is a blog that is dedicated to showcasing the things that make me happy, namely food, music, travel and people. Basically, whatever is contributing to my happiness is what this blog will feature. Don’t be shy, dig in! I have plenty of sprinkles to go around.

Sprinkle No. 1: Young the Giant

This band. What a gem.

These guys are not new to the music scene, but I only recently started getting into them. For that I need to thank YouTube for adding them to my reccomended music list.

It is not too often that I discover a band where I enjoy their acoustic/live sets better than their recorded ones. So when I clicked on the video for Mind over Matter (In the Open), I was pleasantly surprised when it became some of the most magical 4 minutes and 20 seconds of my life.

It’s like an act of passion for these guys. Not only do they sound so, so good, but they seem to be super into it, like they are really feeling the music and letting it be a part of them. It is a pretty cool thing to witness.

So, without further ado, I give you Young the Giant