This is more of a thought than a happy sprinkle. It is not unhappy, it is just a thought, a question.
At what point do you decide to give somone a second chance? At what point do you decide to just let things go and leave them be?
In one of my first posts, I mentioned that someone reached out to me almost two months after he left the company, and almost three years after he had the chance to get to know me in person.
Given the circumstances, I chose to believe that the situation was Gods’ way of showing me what was not meant to be.
But what if I was wrong? What if it was the other way around?
What if it was to show me that anything can happen? That people change based on their experiences and situation, and that sometimes, it is alright to give someone a second opportunity?
My better judgement tells me that this is not the case, that I am holding on to something that I want to be my reality when it is simply not meant to be my reality.
But how am I to know for sure if it is not supposed to be my reality if I don’t do anything about it?
Maybe, at this point, the better question is why would I do something about it when I have something good going on with someone else?
Can or should I approach the situation as if we are talking like “two girls over drinks at Bennigans?” (thanks, Mila Kunis, for the line.)
Or is it a lost cause when at the end of the day, I know I am potentially interested in you as more than a friend, and this despite you showing me time and time again that you are really not interested in me?
At this point, this should not even be a question let alone something I am thinking about, especially because I am already seeing someone.
Do I jeopardize what I share with him over the slightest of slight possibility that something will work out between us?
Or do I “jeopardize” what I currently have in search of something different and potentially more fulfilling?
Not that it would even be more fulfilling than what I share with the guy I am currently seeing. This guy, he makes me feel like…me.
He makes me feel like me!
That is not something that I have ever experienced before, not even with family and friends.
To feel this way around somone, it is a pretty cool thing; it is pretty damn cool to just be and feel like yourself.
What a gift. What a treasure, to be able to experience this with someone.
So why the hell do I feel like something is missing?
Why can I not just be happy and totally satisfied with what I have?
Why do I feel this need to chace after someone and something that is more than likely, just not meant for me?